Yesterday’s News 2026 02 13

curated news excerpts & citations

Kelly and Hegseth

Borowitz: Mark Kelly Records Video Telling Bartenders They Are Allowed to Refuse Hegseth’s Orders

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Mark Kelly released a new online video on Thursday reminding the nation’s bartenders that they are allowed to refuse Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s orders.

Staring stonily into the camera, the former astronaut warned that, if Hegseth appears to be above the legal blood-alcohol limit, any additional drink request would constitute an illegal order.

(Borowitz more…)

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Trump knows more than he has ever let on

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